The Conviction of Our Worth

........."It is a fiercely noble endeavor" I hear in my spirit. The words, thoughts and emotions continue.....,to attempt to grasp the passionate pursuit of humanity that gripped the heart of the Father of all creation; to apprehend the Love, the zeal, the conviction of our worth as something of great and unspeakable value, worth the sacrifice of torture, death and loss of a part of your own heart - Your very WORD which You spoke out of the abundance of Your heart – Jesus, being the manifestation of that abundance – You risked; You gave Him as a ransom for us, for me. It is incomprehensible, yet my heart longs to know the Love You have for me. Myy soul longs to see the glory of Your inheritance that you have placed within the very being of Your people. To grasp the value that you have given to each one of those You have chosen to set apart for Yourself is my heart’s desire and it cries out to You for that revelation and knowledge so that I might give honor to those you count as extravagant jewels in Your crown of glory.

As I write this, I hear in the air the temptations to make my own decisions regarding which people are those that You have set apart. There are evil people in this world, people who will acknowledge Your existence, but will actively rebel against Your love and kindness, people that will actually go to great lengths to bring disaster upon Your beloved and with evil intent they will fight against You and Yours because of they are not of You. But these evil ones are not my concern, for it is better to love my enemies and bless those who curse me. I know this, yet I know that I am unable to live this conviction without learning first how to yield to Your love.

I am convinced that in Christ Jesus, the penalty for sin was paid – in full. No one was left out and therefore all stand before You forgiven, yet they will not receive it until they acknowledge that they need it from Your hand alone – and no one else has what is necessary to give it.

But the issue that grips my heart at this moment is that with Your forgiveness, You extend wholeness restoring us to a place that is far greater than where Your creation began. To sit in heavenly places in Christ, at the right hand of the Father; to know the Love and Favor and great joy that explodes from His heart for us and is demonstrated in Your willingness to give us the Kingdom of Your Love through the adoption of all of us who yield to the surpassing greatness of Your joyous delight for us and in us.

My heart, my inner man, expands with radiant expectation of the continued unfolding of this revelation of Your Love, yet my physical body, this clay vessel that houses Your presence shakes with fear of exploding into nothingness in the face of this unbelievable reality.

Lord, let me remember this – let me apprehend the greatness of Your love for ALL the saints – those that have known You, those that do know You and those that will know You. O Lord God Almighty let me not sin against You looking upon the people of this earth as though they are of less value than You have declared in Your scriptures and in the sacrifice of Your WORD - in Jesus in whom all the fullness of the Godhead dwells.

God Glorious Love

1Jn 4:15-18
Whoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him and he in God.
And we have known and believed the love that God has in us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
In this is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, that as He is, so also we are in this world.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love.

How can I express the joy that is welling up within my spirit?
How can I express the awe, the delight, the joy & love – it is unspeakable!
You my Lord and King are beyond comprehension.
You have accomplished an incomprehensible task;
You have set me high above all things.
In You, my Lord, I am found.

I turn my head to the left and there I see my Father,
too glorious in His splendor to describe.
His love radiates out from Him in showers of light and life,
sparkling with joy unspeakable,
dancing across space and time with purpose and great joy.
Over flowing floods of magnificent splendor pour from his head,
flooding my soul and the great expanse of heaven.

I sit within my Beloved.
I watch the Father through the eyes of my Lord,
Oh how great is the love of my Lord towards His Father!
Even He is awestruck by the glory of His Father,
great love and devotion is found in my Lord for the one whom He sacrificed himself.
Such love and devotion;
trust and admiration is exchanged between the Father and His beloved Son.

An explosion of joy erupts as the Holy Spirit joins in the celebration of such love!
He wraps Himself around the two
as a torrent of water jumping through the narrows of a white water rapid.
They all erupt in laughter that shakes the very fabric of heaven – joy unspeakable!
There is no fear here; there is only love, total undiluted, erupting, joyous, earth shattering joy that saturates every particle of heaven.

Oh my Lord, let this joy erupt within my soul!
Empower my mortality to receive this love that is so alive and powerful and earth shattering
that the very thought of it causes my flesh to quake in fear!
Let me embrace the overwhelming power of your love to shake the very core of my being;
that I might embrace and be embraced by the wonder; holiness;
beauty and power of your heavenly communion.
Flood my spirit, my soul and my body, oh Lord, my God
with the beauty of your all consuming Love –
the joyous spark of life that flows from your being, your presence, your face –
O’ Lord, let your face shine upon me!
Let me breathe the substance of your love!

Gratitude and Every Day Life

It has been almost 8 months since I made my last post to this blog. It isn’t because I have ignored it, though I have at times; I just have not been able to think of anything worth posting. My last post was more than just words, it was an experience I had with my God while writing. I actually saw myself within the body of Jesus, looking out of his eyes towards the Father of Heaven and Earth. My heart was actually touched by the emotions Jesus had for his Father and I could see the love the Father has for his son Jesus. I was actually caught up in the torrent of love that came with the presence of the Holy Spirit of God. What can compare to an experience like that?

Nothing! So in light of this realization, I have decided to post again; not to out do my last post – which I think must be the temptation of all new writers – but to just do something to move forward. Writing, I am learning, is much like life; we have high and glorious mountain top experiences and writing lows – those things that are written down that we forever regret we put to paper, and then there is that every day existence of life – getting up in the morning to get the kids off to school, going to work, cleaning the house and enjoying the life that God gives us every day. This is what writing is like. And I think this is one of those every day life thoughts that I have decided are just as valuable as those mountain top experiences.

Every day life is the place that I am learning gratitude. I must admit that I have not been very good at expressing my gratitude or even recognizing the need for gratitude. I have asked the Lord over a number of years to teach me how to be grateful. This has not been an easy task to accomplish, but because He is God and I am not, I think I am beginning to learn.

I am so grateful for the Love of God because I am beginning to understand that His love is truly unconditional. He loves so passionately, that He sent a part of himself (His Word – His Son, Jesus) to die for me – and He died for me so that I could know how much He loves me. That experiential knowledge of His love for me comes, not just in those mountain top experiences, but in my every day life and it is the only thing that gives purpose to my existence. I am learning to recognize the emotion of gratitude, now I realize that I need to learn how to express it in my every day life.

I am a great admirer of “being real” what ever that means. I have spent many years trying to express emotions and thoughts the way I thought others wanted me to express them (Are you confused? – I was!) So I am on this journey as an adult – how to express what is truly on my heart in a way that builds up, expresses honor toward those I am speaking with, and shows gratitude towards my Lord. It is a lot more difficult than I ever dreamed it could be, but this is my goal, “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace…speaking the truth in love...causes growth of the body [of Christ] for the edifying of itself in love.” Eph. 4:3, 11 – 16.

A Fruitful Garden is Waiting to Grow

From the beginning of the year, my pastors have been teaching from 2 Peter 1:1-8.

2 Peter 1: 1- 8 (NKJV)

1Simon Peter, a bondservant and apostle of Jesus Christ,
To those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:
2Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord,
3as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,
4by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
5But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,
6to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,
7to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.
8For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I have been seeking the Lord concerning this section of scripture for several months as we have been studying it at church. The key phrases that I have been pondering are in verse 4, "you may be partakers of the divine nature," and in verse 5, "add to your faith."

When I first read this section of scripture I began asking myself and the Lord two things. One, "How can I add to my faith? I can't manufacture faith, so how can I add to it?" And two, "How can I add this list of things, since these things that we are instructed to diligently add to our faith are part of the divine nature of God?"

As I have looked upon these scriptures these last two days, I began to see the words of hard work fade away and I began to see these scriptures through the heart of God. I noticed that everything about this section of scripture was encouraging us to pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord. The very first sentence directed to us who have obtained like faith says,

"Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of our Lord Jesus."

In the book of Hebrews, chapter 11, verse 6 it says that without faith (which we have obtained by the righteousness of God) it is impossible to please God because first we have to believe that God exists.

Then it says that we also have to believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. In order to believe that he is a "rewarder" we have to believe that He is good and as we diligently seek Him we gain knowledge of His character through the growth of our relationship with him.

These "character qualities" that are listed in verses 5, 6 & 7 are the rewards that are added to our lives as we diligently seek a deeper, experiential relationship with our God and Father and His Son Jesus Christ. These "character qualities" are a part of the divine nature that we have been invited to partake of through our knowledge of God.

As this revelation began to settle into my heart, I heard the Lord saying...

The winter is over my people,
It is time to tend the garden of your heart.
Inspect your garden my people,
How has it survived the winter?

Take Me with you into your garden,
Let Me see what is there.
If there are weeds I will remove them
If the soil has become hard,
I will water it from the river of My Life
And till it if you let Me.

If you allow the Fire of My Holy Spirit to come upon you
I will burn up the thorns and thistles.

I have planted in your garden before.
You have obtained the seeds of faith from my hand.
You have received My word in your heart.
Will you partake of My divine nature?
Will you let me cultivate your heart?

Open wide the gates to your gardens!
Open wide the doors of your heart!
Let me plant a garden of hope!
Let me plant a garden of spice!

How do you add to the faith you’ve been given?
Open wide the gates to your garden,
Let me till the soil of your heart,
Receive the seeds of My word,
Let Me water your heart from the river of Life.

Rejoice and do not fear.
Grow in knowledge as I come near.
Yes, I am gentle and faithful and true.
I am the gentle gardener, who sees the worth of you.
A fruitful garden is waiting to grow inside the heart of you.

Heavenly Father and our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus,

We open wide the gates of our gardens and invite you in. Holy Spirit inspect the state of our hearts. Lord, you are the master gardener, create a plan that will allow for the expansion of this garden. Prepare our hearts to receive the seeds of your word that through the power of your grace the seeds of your divine nature may not only find good soil, but it might also grow up into maturity producing fruit that will feed the nations. Let us be a fruitful garden planted by the shore of your river of Life.

May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of our God and of Jesus our Lord.

Sincerely
Renee

Author's Comment

Dear readers,

When I posted my last blog, “AND JESUS SAID, I AM”, a few people contacted me regarding various concerns over some of the statements in the post. Because I don’t have any idea how many people are actually reading my blog, I thought I would make a general statement that might help those who either can’t contact me or don’t feel it is their place to make a comment.

First, please remember that I am learning and I am subject to many frailties just as we all are. Writing in a way that places my heart out on the web for anyone to read is a huge risk, but I don’t want to harden my heart to the criticisms, I want to be able to receive the corrections I need to receive and allow the Lord to strengthen His character in me. Some of the things I write might expose places in my heart that need healing and some may expose attitudes that need adjusting so don’t get too up tight if I fall off the deep end now and again. I believe the Lord is faithful to bring correction to me through His Holy Spirit and through my church family.

If you know me and know how to contact me, you are more than welcome to ask me questions about what I right. If you don’t know how to contact me, forgive me, pray for me &/or ask questions of someone you trust.

I encourage you to read what is written, take everything (what you like and what you don’t like) before the Lord and ask Him what you are to do with it. We have a saying in our church, “Eat the chicken and spit out the bones.” In other words, learn how to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit from the other voices and receive from the Holy Spirit and give room for growth and maturity to occur in the one sharing. As hard as I do try to only print what is glorifying to the Lord, I am not always successful at filtering out the “bones.”

The other thing I try to do is give scripture references for much of what I write. I don’t always, but I do try. Please read these scriptures and ask the Lord if he is saying anything to you. They may bring clarity to your questions, they may confirm your thoughts, but it will never hurt to read the scriptures.

I really believe that the Lord was placing a test before us as I wrote this last posting. My test was whether or not I would be obedient and risk getting negative comments. He is also testing me in how I will respond to the comments I have received. How is He testing you?

As I have gone before the Lord regarding “AND JESUS SAID, I AM”, I have decided to remove some of the original post. I was concerned about a few of the lines when I posted the original article and the comments I received confirmed some of what I was sensing. Some of the lines I removed simply to honor the person who expressed concern.

In the end, I hope that this post encourages you and I hope that by tagging along with me through this process the Lord has taught you something of His grace and His ability to refine His children.

And Jesus said, "I AM."

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
I am the beginning and the end, the alpha and omega.
I am He who breathes life and I am he who swallows death.
I am the everlasting Father and I am the Prince of Peace.
My Kingdom is established from everlasting to everlasting and it will continue to grow into everlasting.
I am Jesus.
I am the Prince of Peace.
I am the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, the Lamb that was slain.
I am all that you need and I am all that can be had.
I am King.
I am victorious.
I have bound the strong man and I am plundering his house.
Speak to the nations my church!
I am a Warrior and I am the Lover of your soul.

Let Me be your Hope.
Let Me be the reason for your very existence.
My desire is this that I would be your sufficiency
and in that place of resting in My sufficiency Hope is born.
In that place purpose is achieved.
Pursue Me with your whole heart, with your whole mind, with your whole strength.
Live life through My eyes.
See life through My heart.
Reign in life through My strength.

(Mark 14:62) (John 1:1) (Rev 1:8; 21:6; 22:13) (Ps 119:25;1 Cor 15:54-55; Hos 13:14)
(Isa 9:1-7) (Rev 5:5) (2 Peter 1:1-4, Eph 1:23) (1 Tim 6:15, Rev 17:14)
(Luke 11:17-26; Eph 1:15-23) (2 Tim 2:3&4) (Eph 6:12; Rom 8:1-14, Gal 5:14-26)
(Jer 20:11) (Heb 11) (Col 3:1 & 2, Gal 6: 7&8)

Lord Jesus, you are my hope and you are the reason for my existence. Teach me, your Church, how to rest in your work. Let me, your Church, be rooted and grounded in your love so that Hope can be birthed in my heart, the heart of your Church. Help me, your Church, to live life through your life. Help me, your Church, to see Life through your heart and help me, your Church, to be an over-comer in this life through your strength.

Prayer - Enter in King of Glory

Dear Father,
I am so overwhelmed. You have asked me to pray for your people, your church, yet I don’t. Why is that? I read your word and my mind gets full of things that need prayer, yet from where I stand it seems to be a mountain that cannot be climbed – it is too big, it is too much.

Now, as I write this before you, I realize the problem, I am looking at your people through the eyes of my humanity instead of through the eyes of your divinity.

Psalm 24
The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness,
The world and those who dwell therein.
For He has founded it upon the seas
And established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive blessing from the Lord,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face. Selah

Lift up your heads, O you gates!
And be lifted up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
The Lord mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, O you gates!
Lift up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord of hosts,
He is the King of glory. Selah

Father, I desire to ascend into your holy hill. I desire to stand in that holy place before your throne. Thank you Father that you have made a way for your people. You have called us to come boldly before your throne of grace, the seat of mercy from which you rule. By the blood of your Son, Jesus, you have cleansed our hands and you have purified our hearts. (Hebrews 4)

Father, your people stand before your eyes, some ignorant of the blessings of righteousness purchased for them by your Son Jesus; some still deceived by the bondages of sin and still some are caught in the deceitfulness of their carnal and selfish mind-sets. Yet, it is not all hopeless, you have not forsaken us. You have set in your mind to make us into the image of your Son. You have chosen us to be His bride. Lord have mercy upon your people and for the sake of your Son’s name lift up our heads and teach us to lift up our gates – our hearts and souls – and allow you through your Holy Spirit to come into our lives and change us into that image of your Son.

Be gracious and merciful to us and have pity upon your church. Help us to see your Glory and welcome your glory into our hearts. Change us! Help us to yield to your instructions. Help us to surrender our opinions and accept yours as Truth.

On behalf of your people I cry out to you, O Lord, God of my God, Holy Father! The blood of your Son has purchased us – He has ransomed us from the hand of your enemy, do not leave us to our own devices. Pour out your Spirit upon us. Bring that sweet sting of conviction upon your people that causes us to see our error and Your glory, that causes our hearts to weep for joy at your merciful forgiveness and your great power that sets us free from the sin and shame, fear and unforgiveness that has chained us to lives of hopelessness and despair – false humility and deceit – backbiting and self-righteous judgments.

Father, your scriptures say that if we confess our sins before you that you are faithful to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Father, I have confessed to you on behalf of your people. We are in desperate need of your forgiveness and cleansing. I lift up my head and throw open the gate of my heart – come into my heart Holy Father – King of Glory and come into the heart of your people.
Let us see you King of Glory!
Let us see you mighty in battle!
Let us be Jacob, the generation of those who seek your Face!

In 2Co 3:18 it says, "But we all, with our face having been unveiled, having beheld the glory of the Lord as in a mirror, are being changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."

Make this scripture true in our generation! Let us see your Face.

Let us behold the glory of your Son Jesus!

Glorify your Son in us!

O'Lord, let us see the beauty of your holiness so that you will receive the glory and honor due your name.